Do you think Kris Jenner just has an IV secretly attached to Kanye’s veins and slowly drains his lifeblood into a golden goblet that she drinks every night while she schemes on how to sell Kylie (deeper) into sexual slavery?

- My brain still doesn’t compute Benji + Cammy D (I’m certain they lose absolutely zero sleep over this)

this email scandal is making me never want to read an email ever again

I’m not even going to lie. If I didn’t work, I’d be a professional introvert and would double up on my boringness by spending more time reading and playing video games.

I’m on team both. I love me a wedge or a big messy pile of basically everything on the salad bar. I also love a big, healthy bowl of dark greens and awesome veggies with beans, raw nuts, grilled chicken, tossed with a homemade vinaigrette or even just some citrus juice. I don’t kid myself that something covered in…

So, Taco Salad! Yum, edible bowl.

“Ranch dressing is dumb....”

My husband either sits or wipes the rim when he’s done, because he’s not a fucking barnyard animal. I had nothing to do with this. He has even trained his best friend to not only lower the seat, but close the lid at our house.

This kid looks like if a mad scientist tried to make Will Forte a total babe.

I was doing okay until I read that there’s a 15 year old who does makeup tutorials who has a net worth of $1.5 million.

Purity doesn’t even hit the ground fully until around page 342,

For what it’s worth, these douchebros made a sign that sounds like they want to call the father’s “Daddy,” not that they want the daughters to call them Daddy.

In my own defense my husband bought them for me. We were going to a beach house and it was pre-Sept. 11th so this was before “The Death of Irony.” They weren’t marketed as capri pants and he thought they would show off my butt and calves to best advantage. And they did, but the day I wore them out I said to him,…

They came from an hour away with a thirst for loafage,

I would do anything for meatloaf, but I won’t do that.

I’m pretty sure they both love music, too. AND they both love movies. It’s FATE.

fuckin love sandy. i think her and chris evans were/were rumored to be a thing for a while and i was pretty fucking supportive.