The very next article...

I want to die in my sleep, like my grandfather, and not screaming and yelling, like the passengers on the bus he was driving.

Stars?? I deserve to be un-greyed for bringing this magical gif to the public’s attention.

This is all the proof you really need.

wait so this editorial board works near some of the richest people in the country in the OC so does this mean that they also can be paid $0.50/hour

She’s dead to me.

Raise your hand if you fast-forwarded after #3 looking for Porkins.

STOP BRAGGING IT’S NOT A GOOD LOOK

Find the fucking panda

This will almost certainly put him at odds with former teammate and notorious crip Wes Welker.

“Great, now we’re both suspended!”

An undefeated 13-1 season is perfectly respectable. No need to lie about the stats.

ODB is a big baby, jesus.

I thought he was the mastermind of a complex, detailed scheme to tamper with footballs that took $5,000,000 and five months to untangle.

The plot was an issue. It was basically a remake of ANH combined with a sprinkle of ROTJ.

My husband, the uber SW fan, had the biggest problem with R2 being in a power coma since Luke was gone and then waking up at the end of the movie. I think it’s b/c he could sense the Force in Rey. Husband thinks droids can’t feel the Force.

I want to say Stockholm Syndrome, but Stockholm is at least a pleasant place to live.

Then cities need to come together to stop building stadia & arenae with public funds.

I’m just kidding. I...I don’t have a job.