The truly scary thing is that it’s not an Onion article, but a real product sold for $75 and it’s SOLD OUT!

-Carl Sagan

i love how quickly, and hard, the meme sphere hit this candle:

Where’s the sex? The word “sex” implies consent from both parties, and children are legally incapable of consenting to sex.

And of course the media reports on him as “Mueller’s Witness” and not “Trump’s liaison to SA royals.” No one cares about this particular person, so who can we damage by proxy? Cause most people only read headlines...

I’m actually starting to wonder if the Republicans are running a child trafficking ring out of the basement of some other pizza joint in D.C.

The publisher behind the overwhelming majority of this coverage is Rupert Murdoch. The publisher behind the overwhelming majority of climate change denialism in Australia, even in the face of the wildfires, is Rupert Murdoch. The press baron behind much of the mad dash to war in Iraq in both the US and UK was Mudoch.…

I’m a traditionalist.

Hey remember when Jussie Smollett convicted and locked up an innocent man? How about when he entered a home and murdered an innocent woman playing video games with her nephew or when he choked to death a father who was selling loose cigarettes?

I keep waiting for Harry to finally crack and yell at the paps, “You killed my mother and I couldn’t do anything about it. I will not stand by and let you destroy my wife.”

There’s a big difference between wearing shorts while waiting for the bus, or wearing shorts when you’re gonna be inside all day, and wearing shorts when doing outdoor exercise in freezing temperatures. Personally I think the difference is best described as “comfortable with a cold breeze” and “comfortable with…

Whenever I see that many tattoos, I immediately think, “That person is absolutely frightened by the world around them.”

Ya know, as a woman who is always very comfortable in cold weather and is extremely over being told by people to put more clothes on because whatever I’m wearing isn’t “warm enough” (even though I feel perfectly warm in it) I’m going to go ahead and say: let the boys wear their shorts in winter if they want to. Let…

Not only is it a terrible metric because it has no tangible attachment to 80% of the population. Even the 20% of American’s actually vested in the stock market through 401k plans (at least last time I checked) aren’t seeing these huge returns.

For example, the overall appreciation rate of my 401k this year was…

Absolutely ridiculous. Can we train a few thousand young black people to learn how “procure” information about government officials and law enforcement officers? I mean the trashy petty stuff that’ll make them hate one another, ie: Officer James fucked Officer Jacob’s wife. The text messages between prosecutors…

YES! Whyperbole! Because it kinda sounds like “white peopley.”

You can’t believe it because you’re privileged enough not to have to deal with the actual issues that the people who are made to wear these sorts of uniforms in real life have to deal with, and you’re also not empathetic enough to understand the perspective of another fellow human being, and how such a thing might…

“no one said this wasn’t photoshopped.”

The plot is extraordinarily far fetched, even for a movie. I mean, joke real estate developer Donald Trump is supposed to be president? This makes no sense, even for a fictional alt-history. 

I am. Fuck alternative medicine. Fuck Dr. Oz. Fuck Gwenyth Paltrow and double fuck Alex Jones, and sideways triple fuck David Wolfe. Fuck Oprah while we’re at it. Fuck anti-vaxxers and fuck those shitty copper bracelets. Fuck magnetic soles for straightening your chi. Fuck fruit cleanses and hot sauce detoxes. Extra…