Basically, The Mets asinine unofficial number retirement policy requires the player to go into the Hall of Fame in a Mets hat. Gary Carter begged the Hall to put him in as a Met, they chose Expos. The Mets have not issued #8 since Carter went in, even though they did a few times between his departure and his…

“LET’S LET THE LEGAL SYSTEM HANDLE THIS BEFORE WE RUSH TO ANY CONCLUSIONS”

Let’s check in on Matt Patricia making breakfast this morning:

That’s “Whista,” ya zippaheads!!

Auburn released a statement reading “Yeah, but seriously...where is Montana?”

Now that’s a savage burn.

That’s kind of a blanket statement, isn’t it?

I have reservations about starring this comment.

they can’t make the Indians give him back, that would be offensive

I don’t think replay is going anywhere but it would be easy to fix.

Go to hell, you fucking mutant. Jesus Christ, this is what the world has come to, we have this entire city of illiterate, human colostomy bags coming out of the woodwork like winning one Superbowl validates the fucking terrible life that preceded it and will follow.

but imagine being so despised by your players that they believe there were conspiratorial motivations behind your mistake

Being from LA, I knew if you had “USC” and “Division 1 ball” in the same sentence, you’d get the reference.

I don’t know about blaming Dan Lozano. The guy went to USC, played Division 1 ball and even earned a law degree. Does that sound like the kind of guy who would make stuff up?

I can’t even imagine how many of my co-workers I’d punch if I had to see their stupid faces every single day for seven months at a time.

“I was wrongly accused at my town’s best pizzeria.”

I cried that I had no shoes till I met an idiot who burned his because he wanted to “own” the libs then I laughed.

Keep in mind we are just one Mo Williams tackle and the Red Sox acquiring a failed power hitter out of Minnesota, removed from Bill Simmons turning into the second coming of the BTK Killer.

Typical Deadspin making everything about race. Every sentence you have to remind us that he’s White. 

Put it in Le Creuset and call it a terrine and slappy here would eat it like his life depended on it.