For a while, there were no Sonics anywhere near where I live (central NJ), but their commercials were all over television, so it became this Holy Grail of fast food that was attractive because of its unavailability. At some point, a decade or more ago they opened one in Edison, right outside of Menlo Park Mall. People…

Stop making me root for players inside my team’s division.

Dear Peace and Quiet,

Is this guy kidding? He makes it sound like Jordan won despite Rodman. Meanwhile, Rodman’s in the fucking Hall of Fame and is one of the top three or four rebounders of all time.

He is the only qualified Major League pitcher with an ERA under 2.00...

It’s very easy, actually. If you’re blind & deaf, you can pretend what you’re watching ain’t soccer.

From my experience with the Italian side of my family, I would wager anything that the people “offended” by this promotion would also be the first ones to tell other people not to get offended so easily.

I’m 34 now and when I was five, my mom signed me up for soccer. Even at that age, I knew soccer was stupid and wanted no part of it but she insisted. Making the most of it, I wanted to play goalie so I wouldn’t have to run (I also think running is stupid). My coach wouldn’t play me at goalie, so I went to the other…

As a lifelong native of eastern of New Jersey, I have the same affinity for pork roll (don’t you dare call it Taylor Ham). I know what’s in it (kind of), I do not care. It’s delicious and I will fight anyone who says otherwise (or who calls it Taylor Ham).

I can’t wait to be able to get a Seth Beer jersey, I don’t even care what team he plays for. Unless it’s the Red Sox. They can go shit in their hats.

To be fair, he said 4x, not 7x.

It’s still soccer, so yes.

You shouldn’t run around people’s driveways opening truck doors and trying to get valuable items out. But also, there are some pretty easy ways to prevent that from happening.

/finds recipe

You rocked that like a hurricane. Well done.

I’m sorry, but you’re misinformed. San Diego was discovered by the Germans and, of course, translates to “A whale’s vagina.”

Nobody should work that hard to watch soccer.

I’ve heard those same rumors.

Closer Kenley Jansen has already blown two saves after blowing none all of last year

In other news, water is wet.