You think making a woman come “makes you look like a God?”

You started out by explaining to the author why Gruden commands a high salary (because he is also in demand as a coach.)

Agreed. Or his constant attempts to inject gravitas into his own proclamations by adding, “ . . . in the sport of professional football” or “ . . . in the National Football League.

You keep saying silly things, people keep pointing that out, and you keep responding with “Okay, but . . . “ and start down the next road.

Barry wasn’t arguing that Gruden’s salary is “excessive” relative to market value, he was saying it’s excessive relative to the value Gruden delivers.

I think that’s what your butt looks like when you’re in world-class shape. Mine just looks like two, sad, chicken cutlets.

18 months seems like a pretty long time, but it took social critic and BrandBot3000, Darren Rovell, to put this streak into proper perspective.

That was great! Terrific writing and fantastic delivery.

We would get along. It’s not my team’s name, but there’s another group of regulars at trivia that call themselves Schindler’s Fist and it just slays me.

I had never heard of (this) Jimmie Johnson, and curiosity took me to his Wikipedia page.

Your first rant was fine, but now you’re starting to seem like an angry guy.

Whoops!

How dare you besmirch Anna’s good name. She went to The Columbia School of Journalism and will be happy to tell anybody who’ll listen!

You are so fucking manly!

In response to a dare, I slathered my balls in Sterno and set them afire in the midst of a formal event. It was pretty cool.

I can’t believe how many people are having a serious debate about which of these two utterly insignificant people is more credible in their utterly insignificant argument.

Yeah, I was amazed at how peaceful it was once we reached terminal velocity. With no acceleration or visual frame of reference, except for the wind it felt more like floating than falling.

I agree 100% about other people’s dreams. And I don’t want to hear about your fantasy football team or your bad beat. But if you’re my friend and you do something cool like skydiving, I want to hear all about your experience.

I took an old girlfriend skydiving for her birthday. The instructor, a very handsome man with a devilish accent, hit on her aggressively and relentlessly in front of me.