13 seconds? That’s longer than it took Ronda Rousey to knock out her opponent, last night!

Just watched Holly Holm’s post-fight interview on ESPN (not the press conference, yet) and she’s awesome and authentic and chill.

Cool. But what about my argument do you disagree with?

These tits took an intro to philosophy class at ASU, which is our nation’s #1 community college, thank you very much.

Just so I’m clear . . . use of unintentionally offensive language is problematic, but intentionally dropping ugly, ethnic puns is cool, as long as you’re doing it “ironically” in a comment section?

If Trump truly wants out, this is an awfully elaborate way to achieve that when he could simply say, “I’m done.”

Agree 100% that trading Carmelo is the best move the Knicks can make, but unfortunately, with his contract, he’s going nowhere.

What a misleading headline. With the exception of swapping fresh cranberry dressing for that awful, canned cranberry sauce, every one of these substitutions “sacrifices flavor.”

You still don’t need to carry a concealed weapon for your own safety.

“Because I don’t want my name in their database, especially if I’ve done nothing wrong. Does that seem weird?”

Sad [Rusty] Trombone.

Grimes.

“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the massive amounts of money I made playing a fake position.”

Here Comes the Sun by The Beatles is my go-to and I think it’s perfect.

The Blue Album is a great pop record. Quit sniffing your own farts.

Rivers is obviously an emotionally stunted adult with some really regressive views about women, but it’s also pretty easy to imagine how that happened.

Uh-oh. Now you’ve done it.

Jesus. Chest tats, Ed Hardy-ish shirt and a fauxhawk? Concussions are more devastating than we previously thought.

Don’t worry. Anna Merlan can’t be trusted to get the big things right, either!

“But people deserve to know when advertisements are advertisements.”***