Part of what makes you one of Jezebel’s/Gawker’s better trolls is that you’re good at blurring the boundary between sincere and provocative. You’re getting a little sloppy in this thread, though, so you might need to dial it down a bit.

I was hoping she’d trip and shatter the door, lurching forward so the jagged glass would slit her jugular, and we could swatch her bleed out, as she wildly clawed at her own throat and her eyes bulged with terror at her own imminent death, all while she gurgled the words, “We get it right the first time!”

Agreed.

This woman’s an asshole, and it might make you feel good to see her suffer, but no, she doesn’t “need to be publicly shamed for this.” Public shaming hasn’t been used since the early 19th century and I’ve got so interest in seeing society take steps backwards.

You don’t happen to work for Cochlear, do you?

Settle down, Beavis.

I’ll take that over starting sentences with, “Yeah . . . no” any day.

I have recurring sports dreams, and they go one of two ways . . .

This post was a test, and 90% of you failed.

Right?

So much scrolling. I’m exhausted.

“But are we okay with the fact that nudity is allowed?”

Does my computer/account need adjusting, or did Deadspin transition over to a new layout that’s more friendly to octogenarians who misplaced their reading glasses?

Ah, the Native Elitists. The only Coloradans that are more hated than the transplants.

Now that’s living like a renegade!

Jesus. That ad has made me not want to buy a Jeep and to never buy an X Ambassadors record.

In Wins: 6-for-11 (.545)

As usual, the answer is “it depends.”

Atta girl, Serena.

I love that you’ve divided the world into “people that agree with my opinion” and “naricisists.” The irony is hilarious.