I’ll wait until the CCCP2 version airs before I judge.

Is there an asterisk on the Warriors’ 2018 championship because J.R. Smith injured his brain in game 1? FUCK AND NO

There exists an alternate universe in which Danzig was cast as Wolverine.

Speaking as part owner of the Saskatchewan Roughriders...you’re welcome, America.

Guess that explains why he was such a shitty pass catcher. Must have been hand cramps.

I hope he smashes a watermelon on this one. That’s my favorite bit of his.

Goddamn homie.

I would watch the shit out of Daario Naharis, P.I.

The John Wick franchise is a franchise of focus, commitment, sheer will...something box office analysts know very little about.

Talk like that’s gonna get you banned from Madison Square Garden.

And it would be called Das Boobs.

But Carrot Top is OK, right? RIGHT?

I haven’t read the petition. Does it end with “p.s. I am not a crackpot?”

A month before your trip you went to AAA and ordered a TripTik, and if God favored you it would be ready by the time you left. Also, we had compasses on our dashboards.

You don’t mess with the Boban.

Good to see that Showtime is addressing the problem of their shows turning to shit over time by making them shit from the start.

Yeah, I have the weirdest boner right now.

You like me BECAUSE I’m always shooting kids. I’m a person dammit! There’s more to me than kid murder!

Great, even MORE characters whose appeal he can greatly overestimate.  It is most assuredly NOT party time, and this is most assuredly NOT excellent.

I know I should have seen it coming a mile away, but I was absolutely FLOORED by the Ant-man/Giant-man reveal at the airport. It might have been the first time I yelled “HOLY SHIT” in a crowded theater.