Looks up at scoreboard mid-start, sees his ERA is 4.20, walks off field with arms held high.

FUCK YEAH WONG LIVES

I have sex all the time. I’d tell you to ask my girlfriend, but she lives in Canada - you don’t know her.

And you just can’t hide it, obviously.

No Bobby Knight Ranger? No sale.

Tell me more about this “Pornhub.”

At the last minute they decided to add sound. Costs a fortune.

“I have to go now. My planet needs me.”

Well now I know who ratted Lori Loughlin out.

Step 1: Manziel breaks his CFL contract.

Obviously he knows dog racing has been banned in Florida, since he only signed a one year deal.

The revolution can’t come fast enough.

They tried to indict William H. Macy, but he fled the interview.

Also, the best Behind The Music episodes are Styx and MC Hammer, but the Def Leppard one is pretty good.

I was waaaaaaaaaay too cool for this when it came out, but with age comes wisdom and “Rock of Ages” is a goddamn anthem.

I certainly am not trying to diminish the impact of THEFT’s robbery, but the idea of someone filing a homeowners insurance claim for hundreds of dollars worth of sex toys makes me giggle.

Never shit where you eat.

If only Letters to Cleo were on the bill - Ben Wyatt would be PSYCHED!

Standing right here, ya know.

The bass player in the Wonders in That Thing You Do! (Don’t give me any gibberish about how he’s identified in the “where are they now epilogue)