1977 Reggie Jackson would be more likely to miss than connect. You want a contact hitter. I’m thinking George Brett, he had a little bit of pop in addition to being able to put the bat on the ball.

If you fire him with Amazon Prime, you can have in two days free!

I am Griot.

I am officially prohibiting the Blue Jays from calling up Vlad Jr. until after I see the Fisher Cats play in Akron in June.

Holt’s moving of Jake and Amy’s honeymoon request from “pending” to “approved” made my heart grow three sizes.

You’re all gonna be singing a different tune when Avengers 4 is all Wong all the time. You’ll all look up at Wong and shout “save us” and he’ll whisper “no.”

If I’m around! And if it’s raining!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Benedict Wong puts asses in seats.

Why would the A.V. Club do this?

In Capricorn One shitty government contractors got astronauts O.J. Simpson and Sam Waterston killed in the Utah desert. Does that count?

Dear AV Club:

“The addition of the No. 69 pick...”

Return of the MAC.

I would also like to listen to R.E.M.’s Murmur if my head were on the chopping block.

Oh, hello, American investor. I see you are interested in distributing Bitcoiin2Gen in you home prefecture. You have chosen wisely. But please - don’t believe me. Observe this commercial.

Pretty sure ripping off Kirby lands you in the Bad Place. Hopefully he stayed loyal to the Cleveland Browns, or at least gave out full-sized candy bars at Halloween.

I joined the fan club a few years ago (oops, I’ve said too much) but I never used the free tickets. Out of the blue they contacted me just as this tour was being announced to remind me that I hadn’t used the tickets and that they’d put me on the guest list for the Cleveland show. I was completely flabbergasted. Se ya…

It’s David Hasselhoff.

They did have an Air Force, but it quickly descended into anarchy when every fighter pilot wanted the call sign “Rebel.”

“You have to be agile and tactile, and be available to experiment,” he said. “Literally, you have to carry bottles of water through the dark.”