No they don’t. 

20-25 percent of NFL players are able to come back

this is why I simply just shit in the handicapped parking spot.

I’m surprised she told you about that.

“DADDDDYYYYYY DIDNT GIVE ATTENTIOONNNNNNN”

I enjoyed this very much.

The fucking gig economy seems really cool.

Jesus. Who’d have thunk that in 2018 America so many stupid, half-literate white people would rush desperately to the defense of an old racist rich guy who owns a totally useless business that profits by underbidding and cutting corners, who created some of the ugliest branding in the history of capitalism, who has a…

That’s a pretty good description of what Trump is doing right now in the UK.

I’m amazed that a buzzcut from Sheboygan turned out to be a #WhitePride guy.

Emmitt Smith: So that’s why they call it an “oldbitchuary.”

Chicago has an annual natural disaster, it’s called the “Bears”

If you’re measuring out the butter you use to cook with, then you have failed at life and need to reevaluate everything. The proper amount of butter for cooking is at least twice as much as you think you need.

we asked South African sports science and hydration expert

When you woke up this morning, did you think of yourself as someone who would call the teenaged survivor of a mass shooting a liar on the internet, or are you surprised to learn that about yourself?

Dead, unfortunately.

He is staying at a very high end, exclusive resort. The staff says that Belichick has been a pleasure. They said he keeps his own room clean since, for unknown reasons, he refuses to use a Butler.

Actually, the use of “appraised” in this particular context is correct.

She really dropped the ball by not yelling out “Later Gator!” as she walked off.

Anyone that thinks those Eagles touchdowns should have been overturned on replay deserves all the mockery.