Dave Portnoy is the real life equivalent of Dennis Reynolds.

“9,000 massage parlors nationwide that offer sexual services ranging from hand jobs to intercourse.”

Looks like the Ravens were able to make a potential quarterback controversy vanish into thin air.

He died for our takes. 

Additional replay idea applicable to all sports:

Remember that episode of South Park where Cartman gets Kenny to put a picture of his ass as his school picture, and gets it put on a milk carton, and those folks with butts for their faces show up at his door looking for their missing son, and he blows a funny fuse because he’ll never see anything that hilarious ever…

Good idea.  Quit Facebook.  Trust me, you won’t miss it.

So, as an experienced parent, what are the best children’s’ activities to re-live as an adult, that take you right back to being a kid again?

You’re lucky. The cars around my way are all covered with PSU bullshit.

Did Drew miss the not so subtle Kapernick jab in the Bad Local Commerical of The Week?

Dude, you’re missing out on the Costco for one reason: The Costco fuckin’ hot dog. A buck-fifty AND you get a fountain soda. And the hot dog is pretty goddamn good, too. It’s easily my favorite part of going there the once a month we hit that fucking place up.

I also use the side burner of my gas grill all the time.  I use it to light the chimney starter full of coals to use in my smoker.

The Daily Mail, a content monstrosity that also occasionally does practice journalism, has the goods.

Oh, it turns out the doctor was his mother, and the reason she couldn’t operate was she had puked and pissed on herself.

As a Jags fan, I’m actually not too worried about this one- if both teams are healthy I don’t really see the outcome being different than it was yesterday. Worst case Jalen can just have a package couriered over to Josh’s the Friday before a playoff game. 

Now what they should do as part of the rental, is offer the rental fee back toward the purchase of a new Porsche within 12 months.

The Saints will still own the Vikings since they won it all in 2009 after the glorious Favre pick. Minnesota didn’t even get close to winning the NFC championship game this year - against Nick Fucking Foles! HAHA.

Yeah, he overdid it a bit.  All I can ask for (38-7) is that he keeps the same enthusiasm (38-7) for when his Vikings (38-7) come up shortly (38-7).

When Cam Newton is feeling it, there’s not a better football player on the planet: not Rodgers, not Brady, nobody.

I think his cell phone was either broken or lost some time ago