Step one, locate bar cart, step two identify obstacles between you and said cart, step three, secure seatbelt, step four, brace for impact, step five prepare for combat with survivors over bar cart. Optional step six, prepare explanation for authorities on why you resorted to cannibalism.

I wish my job was to see how many cheese puffs I could fit in my mouth.

I continue to ponder a quote someone posted over the weekend:

I totally thought it was Me Undies related too!

This is gonna get lost since I’m late to the party but SNS BEAUTY OPEN THREAD Y’ALL!!!!! What are you loving this week? I did my toes with a lovely dark purple and a holographic chunky glitter top coat by Cirque. Good stuff!

The other day I heard someone refer to him as a “human yeast infection” and I thought it was beautifully descriptive.

I don’t know why you’re saying untrue things like a LIAR. But I don’t care for this kind of talk. Not one bit.

All underwear is a thong. Only difference is whether you’re starting out the day or finishing it.

if only it had sound you could hear the octopus whispering:

I’m a little concerned about how many comments seem to be along the lines of “Well he shouldn’t have gone to N. Korea in the first place.” The thought process behind that statement seems to be that if someplace is dangerous, there’s never, ever a legitimate reason to be there.

But what that means is that we are…

Yeah, I’m a little disheartened by some of the replies I’ve seen to this story, both here and elsewhere. It’s entirely possible he’s being framed, and even if he did do what they’re accusing him of, no one was hurt and ultimately this is not something that he should potentially lose his life for (North Korean prison…

He’s just basically being held hostage by North Korea. I doubt he even touched a banner let alone stole one. And he looked like he was drugged when the took him into the court room this morning.

I wish she didn't have that satin ribbon around her neck, it makes me think her head will fall off

Go take a seat over there and think about what you’ve just said.

That makes it taste better.

OHMIGOD. that is literally the perfect face.
it is just me or does it speak to some kind of grownup intelligence? am i projecting here?

Ughhhh. You just know he needs something. Babies always need something. Get out of here baby, I only have time for myself and my cats.

Ugh, another pastor wnting to kill all gay people. I mean, that’s entirely unfair and unjustified. I’ve only killed, like, four pastors. Tops.