And to think that this is merely the first of two interviews the Cowboys require before signing a player.

I really thought the title read plot and I was trying to figure out why the producers were being so hard on the bad plot choices they’ve made.

Fuck the HGH investigation, I want to know when Peyton Manning started injecting Don Knotts’s DNA.

Or better yet, a meeting in Europe that may or may not ever occur.

To be fair, even if Hinkie got the meeting, he was just going to trade it for a couple of meetings in 2019.

It sickens me at the thought of a promising, talented young man throwing away the opportunity to have a wonderful and successful career. That’s why I go to bed every night praying that the Browns don’t draft Carson Wentz.

This motherfucker is so corny I swear Congress is gonna subsidize him in the next farm bill.

Many Bobans died to bring us these pictures.

Toronto police don’t have any complaints filed related to the incident, but the NBA and Clippers plan to investigate what happened, according to Amick.

Well, here’s your problem.

Equipment Manager: You want me to cut your jersey so you can breathe a little better in there?

I for one welcome our new snowtrain overlord, forebearer of the great Snowpiercer. All glory to the sacred engine.

“The massive monstrosity is what’s known as a Jordan Spreader”

Rural Carolinians were initially bummed to hear Superman had once again humiliated Aryans.

Other than the most perfect piece of sports advertising I’ve ever seen... what the fuck did I just watch?

His wife on the other hand, she’s very nice. I sold her a car back in like 2007, and she could not have been nicer.

Neutral: Safety standards save lives, but they also make cars more expensive.

Lincoln Chafee (miss u!) is one of the small hobbit children delighted by the fireworks at Bilbo’s birthday party, correct?

Imagine how many more hungry the 12th Man could feed and clothe if it didn’t travel across the country en masse to watch a football game. Lots of cancer drugs those plane tickets could buy instead...