Take your record and your dumb shirt and cut your losses.

I swear my sophomore English teacher showed us a version of Romeo & Juliet that had brief nudity. This was pre-internet, so any glimpse of boobs was legitimately a big deal.

“Our QB is like some kind insane quantum physics state”

Anyone watching witnessed a man limp around the bases in pain while trying not to appear like he was pimping his homer.

Hard to fault Martin for being tired of assholes.

Well, how is he supposed to know if he did anything wrong if someone doesn’t beat the shit out of him first?

Michael Schumacher.

Granted he would out drink me, but can you imagine the tales he’s tell

Player: Hello Coach Chip, how are you today?

Kimi seemed unaffected by the gas.

“Can people, out of the charity of their heart, help the least of us along our path in life?”

Tom Brady killed Cecil

Haha. Can’t believe they got London confused with Dorne. Idiots.

I still can't wrap my head around getting in a car without putting on your seatbelt.

Great. Catching people texting while they are waiting for lights to change is going to make our roads so much safer.

What I’m looking for is Miller High Life. Which, in some places, costs only $7 for a six-pack.

This is the hubcap from my first vehicle. I feel oddly nostalgic about a hubcap. I am Jalop.

The steering wheel is from a Subaru XT!

At least this crow didn’t stiff his Uber eagle ride out of a fare:

I completely disagree. Not because of your points about racism (which I also disagree with), but because Atticus Finch is not a real person, but the person you assemble in your brain when you read some letters on paper. Harper Lee is not shedding light on some reality of Atticus Finch, because there is no reality of…