Kid’s jersey has a name on the back. The Yankees don’t wear names on the back of their jerseys. Can’t really call him a true Yankees fan, can ya?

Trump’s definitely the guy calling the dealer who tries some half-hearted attempt at code before using names and then yelling “DRUGS, MOTHERFUCKER! GIMME!”

“If only Giannis’s parents played the radio, make sure the television, the—excuse me, make sure they had the record player on at night, the, the phone, make sure he heard words.”—Joe Biden

Just drink NicoTea!

Hopefully Cole’s in red pinstripes next season. Clearly Nola and a bunch of Guys isn’t enough to make the postseason.

You know what does stain Saban’s eventual legacy?

Injury metaphors should be regional. I borrowed heavily from Burneko’s best state foods list. In no particular order: 

I eat the spear FIRST. The brininess whets the appetite.

Fuckin’ Boston, man

Judging by their play in Weeks 2 and 3, it’s likely the Eagles would be 0-3 if Gruden hadn’t sabotaged his own team by making AP a healthy scratch.

They’ll have to lock him in his bourbon cellar for the rest of the season.

Wee-Bey he is not.

Hurry, CantSleep’s trapped on the escalator at the mall!

[Runs through a fucking brick wall]

He calls it a Ratku.

Rapoport: Pats to sign Pale Spider Big As Hound

DURRR THERE’S NO DUN IN THE NAT’NOL FOOTBAW LEAGUE SON

🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀
🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀
🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀

I prefer the far more energetic walk out theme of Kurt (Launch) Angle.