Ben will have a jumper next season...honest! 

I play co-ed rec league softball, but it’s typically kids in their 20s, 30s, and 40s. For the first time last night we faced a batter in his 60s, and we could not for the life of us get that old fucker out. He probably looked out at the field and thought Imma splash these whippersnapper motherfuckers, because he put…

AAAAUUUGHHH! LOOK OUT, DONALD! There’s a killer robot right behind you ready to activate its laser eyes!

Betcha the peeling feet was just good makeup.

“And he never once paid for drugs......not once!”

Any kids who went there to watch Brett Gardner play deserve to be disappointed.

Whew...Our long national nightmare is over.

This is indeed a disturbing universe

We could always replace LET’S GO! with JUST DO IT!

It was really hard for the cops to complete the paperwork on Dotel as he has changed drug cartels over a dozen times since retiring from the MLB.

These are clearly staged, the end.

We play Miami Week 1. 100,000% Kiko Alonso tries to trash Jackson’s knee in the Ravens’ first offensive snap (assuming he makes the team and isn’t traded).

Also why is the school’s name (whatever it is, I forget) not displayed on the uniform...somewhere?

Fucking savages.

Brown just can’t seem to do anything for the Raiders.

More likely his dealer is ripping him off.

Jackson:

O’Rourke should run for Senate in Texas.
Hickenlooper should run for Senate in Colorado.
Bullock should run for Senate in Montana.
Delaney should run away and never return.

I’m imagining them calling Les Miles, who arrives at the training facility in a silver Acura NSX, Wolf-style.