You’re forgetting the drones

I blame CNN for letting this nobody talk so much. He went on and on about how successful he’s been in life. Great! Good to know looking like a goofy cartoon character did not hinder that path of successes. You will NEVER BE PRESIDENT, EVER. Now get the fuck off the stage.

If you think any of this wonkiness is going to deal with this dark psychic force of the collectivized hatred that this president is bringing up in this country, then I’m afraid that the Democrats are going to see some very dark days

Either that, or one of his arms is now a hook.

Hell of a way to relaunch SURGE!

Pete with the “racial divide lives within me?” FOH with that

Here it is from another angle:

Wait, was that guy knocked out, or was he playing dead patriot?

My son and I have more advanced games of catch, and I’m fucking brain-damaged

“The Falcons are committed to attracting the best coaching talent available. We are confident Coach Durkin’s regrettably murderous methods and policies were only applicable to college players and not professional adult NFL players.” 

Hey, even the O’s managed to pop off back-to-back 13-0 victories, the second of which I was lucky enough to attend. The Yard was packed enough to sustain several Waves, even after an hour-long rain delay. I was astonished.

She also sells an innovative new side dish made from cooked potato pieces dressed with mayonnaise, celery, raisins or sultanas, slivered almonds, mango, chia seeds, spirulina, lingonberries...

Jesus Hosanna Christ...or I should just say Sarah Marantz Lindenberg, since that sounds like cursing too

As long as it’s the Rickie Ricardo call. ¡NO SEÑOR! ¡NO SEÑOR! ¡NO SEÑOR! ¡NO SEÑOR!

Referring to Sam Bradford as a pile of discarded sandwich crusts is extremely disrespectful...to sandwich crusts.

It’s basically an Ann Coulter cover.

Avatar is now only the second highest-grossing movie of all time. It has been dethroned from the No. 1 spot by Avengers: Endgame

I’m hoping it’s the same absurd ratatat comedy of 30 Rock and Kimmy Schmidt, only without Fey stinking up the joint with her “Drunk Tina” schtick that dragged down every Kimmy scene she was in.

Yeah, that person at which he tossed the paper towels. They’re like this [twists fingers]