If there’s one guy you can trust, it’s the cocaine addict, accused of multiple sexual assaults, who stabbed a teammate in the neck.

So I got home late, read this article, and turned the game on about 9:45pm and, uh, this article did not age well! (Except the “ever-cursed Lions” yeesh. 48-17 going into the 4th?! AGAINST THE JETS?)

“Wherever you happen to fall on Serena’s behavior Saturday night, I’m sure you agree with me that this is the umpire’s fault.”

Wait the Eagles win the Super Bowl again?

Yeah!  Fuck you Nick Saban for taking what they gladly gave you!

Hopefully you'll get promoted to cashier some day.

Um, Ferguson Missouri? You know, when a bunch of gullible and angry people were prompted to riot when triggered by the lie that Michael Brown was some innocent choir boy crying “don’t shoot” with his hands up?

I haven't been paying attention. I've been busy picking out my new farm in South Africa. Took it from some white couple.

Huge props to the producer who decided — correctly — to just embrace this kid being a total badass, and giving him the full treatment of cutting to the corner camera for the big celebration.

Looks like the dadbod trend is the rare fashion that starts in the US and moves to France instead of the other way around.

Wow, that kid’s got some balls.

If I’m the keeper, I’m giving 110 percent to stop that goal. Nothing easy kid, you either get some lift on that ball or it’s getting stopped by my foot and punted. This is MY net!

He’s like Dwight Howard and Jameis Winston put together, amazingly talented, clam chowder for brains. 

Why does Deadspin embed the league’s YouTube videos when the league’s YT doesn’t let its videos play as embeds here?

I dunno, it seems like this whole issue is making a mountain out of Jemele Hill.

He’ll roo the day he didn’t koalafy for the tournament.

Most tournaments pay you for winning, so by design, there’s a financial penalty for losing.

I don’t understand why he is tanking? Does he get a better draft pick in January?

Peterson will finally get the punishment he deserves.

The good news is that there’s no VIP restaurant for them to drag him through when he fractures his ankle at a home game.