Not a joke: Knock knock.

So what does he say in the second video? I can’t watch it right now.

Popeye’s has the best biscuits in the universe but I find their fried chicken unpalatable. I have the exact opposite feelings toward KFC. Does this mean that I am being oppressed?

1 Kings 21:21: 21Behold, I will bring evil upon thee, and will take away thy posterity, and will cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against the wall, and him that is shut up and left in Israel (KJV)

The Lt. Gov is basically the head of the State Senate. What’s great is that the head of the Texas House is much less of a crazy person who has basically said, “yeah, we’re not really interested in pursuing this.”

What happened to NC is his goal. There is nothing religious fundamentalists enjoy more than an opportunity to cry “oppression” any time someone disagrees with them.

It’s like he’s trapped in a maze.

She has a bow.

Also, I’m pretty sure that prion diseases like Mad Cow can’t be sexually transmitted.

Your cohorts are right. Just go to Wyoming or Texas, have sex with a naked cowboy who is not a dick, and blog about that. (Note: while I do live in Texas and am occasionally naked, I am not a cowboy, naked or otherwise, so I do not volunteer).

The doppelganger of my beloved cat Dizzy who died four years ago right before I defended my dissertation has appeared in my neighborhood. A theory: a couple of years before he died, Dizzy disappeared for two and a half weeks. Where did he disappear to? The future. Like, now.

The worst sporkswriting of 1996:

Neftali Feliz striking out A Rod standing and looking like a doofus. Yes it happened six years ago, but it’s still the highlight of the year.

“bring me news of the child, so that I may worship him, too”

Question: is the ZOG under my bed, and if so can they please the match to my wife’s shoe I found the other day? And also my daughter’s other Minnie Mouse slipper?

Did you watch Jessica Jones? I totally wanted to and I watched the first couple of episodes but it was a bit too slow. Also I really want to watch Luke Cage but I haven’t gotten around to it.

Look, I understand you’re proud of your mother, and that’s fine. I’m just not into it.

I’ve never heard of this before but now I must have one. I guess that’s carpitalism for you.

I’ve identified something in calling the Kardashian Paradox: the comments on every celebrity news article of people emphatically stating that they don’t care about celebrities, yet they clearly care enough to make their lack of caring public.

A machine for sewing? Real men use Sabertooth Tiger penis bones for needles and Mastodon sinew for thread.