But where are the crybaby MRA assholes to whine about women forcing their vaginas into their video games? Did they all shoot themselves hoarse over Mad Max Fury Road?

I know it’s recommended to dress in layers, but that seems a tad excessive.

According to The Knot:

How about “I want my name to be a palindrome?” I’m not saying it’s happened, but it would be a dumb reason, right?

Somebody proposed at my PhD graduation. I wanted to throw him into a pit of snakes and bees.

Fortunately, there are no K-Marts where I live anymore, so I am in little danger of actually purchasing one until it ends up at a thrift store.

It’s totally unfair for a cool, attractive guy like Adam Levine to co-opt dorky dad shorts culture.

No, dammit, Adam Levine. Collecting Hawaiian Shirts is my thing, not yours, jerkass. DO YOU EVEN THRIFT TOWN, BRO?

She’s a literal Gold Digger. A miner. In fact, a 49er who discovered the secret to immortality in a mine when she was mining and that’s allowed her to continue to mine mines as a miner all the time. While digging.

Amal Clooney uses the Blue Shell, like, way too much.

“Shut up Bobby Lee... It ain’t no real pleasure in life”

Have you read “A Good Man is Hard to Find”? Frightening is what they should be going for.

Possible quotes for the O’Connor stamp:

Yes, but Florida is just Georgia’s dingleberry.

Thank you for this. It puts into words a lot of things I struggle with as a teacher, particularly with the poem “Leda and the Swan” by Yeats. It’s such an important poem in literary history and from such a great poet, and the story is drawn from what should be a well-known Greek Myth (Or I guess. I read it in Edith…

Re: mortadella

Since Houston is basically the sphincter of Texas, I imagine most people thee are too busy cursing God to care about much of anything.

Grad school show-offs are the worst.

Is there going to be a main page sorry on Degenerate Seed of Chucky Johnson apparently getting banned from Twitter for soliciting the murder of an activist?

Understand when something is supposed to be satire?