I WAS THE GUY WHO SAW THAT MOVIE IN THE THEATER.

If your buddy had a warrant out FOR LITTERING, there was a hell of a lot more to that story than what you heard.

Lol. Folks, this is why if you want to watch football during NFL preseason, just catch some CFL on ESPN2.

Hell, I’d pay good money to see a bunch of drunken farmers play football.

Oh please. That old fart-sniffing “who is the best drummer?” conversation is entirely different from the “oh, you’re a drummer? Can you play Scentless Apprentice?” or the “oh, you’re a guitarist? Can you play Eruption?” conversations. If you were a drummer in say 94 that’s what you’d hear at a party if you mentioned…

If you were a drummer in the early 90s, Scentless Apprentice was your Van Halen’s Eruption for guitarists in the 80s.

Anyway, here’s a fun factoid: I left Deadspin 10 years ago this June. If you remember back when I ran Deadspin, congratulations: You are officially too old to still be reading a sports blog

Fellow Columbusite here, so maybe that will make my $0.02 worth $0.03 or so.

Oh ok, I wasn’t bothered by that. It’s a boarding school in a massive, 1000 year old castle. The picture I had in my mind before the movies was basically Buckingham Palace with towers, with Harry being the token “everyman” type on scholarship living in Hogwarts’ oppulance amongst the old-money wizarding scions.

The NRA was very, very, briefly “open to discussing” laws regulating (NOT BANNING) bump stocks. They just as quickly shut the hell up about it.

You are a child.

Hot buttered rum, on the other hand, is a great drink for single digit temp days like these.

The first couple suffer the most from their leads’ kid actor-ness. Daniel Ratdliffe is obviously in “stand in front of a green screen and look amazed” mode. Emma Watson over-enunciates to an insane degree. I get exhausted just watching her say “Wingardium LeviOOOsa” and seemingly moving every muscle in her head to do…

Counter-point - we took our daughters to Harry Potter world at Universal Studios and IT WAS GODDAMN INCREDIBLE AND MADE ME FEEL LIKE A KID AGAIN. So score one for commercialism, take all my money.

The Hogwarts points system has me yelling at the TV like a degenerate gambler during March Madness. Nothing is consistent, certain teachers are obviously in the bag for students, point values are completely arbitrary, it’s nuts.

Katherine Waterston was delightful

It’s nice that they’re going to offer this for free, but it’s hard to imagine that even Apple would be arrogant enough to charge for 34 year old operating system.

Whatever happened to predictability.
The milkman, the paperboy, evening tv?
How did I get to living here?
Somebody tell me please!
This old world’s confusing me.
With clouds as mean as you’ve ever seen
Ain’t a bird who knows your tune.
Then a little voice inside you Whispers,
Kid don’t sell your dreams, so soon

When the survivors are living off of Campbell’s Soup, and instant coffee and Everclear are the only remaining luxuries, the living will envy the dead.

Prove it. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.