I misread this, thought you said he stood there for 89 minutes and then screamed “POW!”

I misread this, thought you said he stood there for 89 minutes and then screamed “POW!”

I loved the Seahawks, but between stiffing Kam, cutting Sherm, and pulling this with Earl...man, who do you think we were supporting?  Paul Allen?

My hero was the dude on the bottom holding onto Lynch's foot like when I'm trying to carry groceries down the hall and my kid decides his chance to kill me has finally come

Out of the Blue II - Balzac

I remember getting the call from day care. She said “We think he has hand-foot”, and while I knew from her tone I need to say “Oh noooo, so do you need me to come pick him up?” all I could think was “like he has feet for hands, or like hands for feet?”

As a parent my first thought was "poop"

I’m gonna guess this is one of those “Sorry, I’m not actually mad at YOU” situations (if we lived in a world where conversations in comment threads could possibly end like that) - my theory is he’s seen people saying shit similar to what he clearly thought you were saying for a while, and you wound up catching all of…

I'd rather die than give you control

I don’t know much about soccer, so correct me if I’m wrong - it seemed like the refs were either in the tank for Croatia or just selectively very bad at their jobs.  Was there something I’m missing a more seasoned fan picked up on, like England needed to fake falling over more or insult the ref’s family in a more…

This “I’m a *real* fan” schtick is preposterous. It’s entertainment, the whole idea of fan loyalty is a myth designed to get people to continue giving them money even when they’ve failed to hold up their end of the bargain.

The entire second quarter I couldn’t believe the Warriors were as close as they were. It looked like the Cavs were dominating them, GS couldn’t buy a shot, and I had no idea how they stayed so close. When they were only down 6 at the half you knew they were gonna win. If Cleveland playing at such a high level vs…

I wish we would, and honestly I don’t get why we don’t. Their tax-free status is codified in the town charter, and so our alderman just accept there’s nothing they can do. If someone ran on a “we’re going to do everything we can to make their existence intolerable until they either cave or move” platform I would knock…

I don’t know what it would take to tear up the town charter and start taxing the bastards, but I don’t care, I’m ready and willing.

A team defined by years of watching it slip away finally getting there...and losing to an expansion team. That only recently did a theatrical performance of a knight on ice skates, I dunno, stabbing a building or something? The key here is it’s insulting in its absurdity. I don’t know if I even want to see that. I…

That’s ridiculous. Truth is just one of a ton of different factors that goes into the results in a court of law, some above board (presumption of innocence), some not (racism). The law isn’t there to do all of your thinking for you.

A couple of years ago on Easter weekend my wife and some friends took the kids (ages ranged from 1-8) to a zoo. Naturally I steered the group over to see the eagle. The kids eagerly made their way to the front, where they found the eagle feasting on a rabbit, swallowing its intestines like cartoon characters eat…

I’d go do that any day of the week, birds of prey are amazing. Sadly, they aren’t plentiful in my neck of the woods, so it’s a very rare treat (last time I saw one outside of a zoo was a falcon parked on top of a freshly slain pigeon about 2 years ago)

Yeah, I love it, largely for the reasons he listed. You can only sing that song if you’re trying to make a bunch of ridiculous faces by contorting your lips into all kinds of preposterous positions while trying to jump between gut and nasal voice as quickly, frequently, and jarringly as possible. That song reminds me…