You know what? This is totally how Tom Haverford would get married. This looks like an extra straight out of Parks and Rec.

I'm so glad that Beyonce found feminism so we can all join in.

This is exactly what one would expect a fashion-clueless boyfriend to pick out for a girl. My ex asked if he could pick an outfit for me one day, and I HAD to wear it to class. It was a hodge-podge of pink and red, plaid and poladots and stripes and fishnets. I looked at him like "excuse me, are you insane?" He…

Not that I know her or anything about her life, but I'm so happy Amanda Bynes is doing better.

"did you ever know that you're my hero?"

Shipping this.

OK I respect that. I've got identifiable tats too, but here I'll show you mine:

fingers crossed. :)

Here's my plan if/when I get married. Nice big backyard. Potluck table. I'll spring for the booze, and rent a mic and speakers and have an open-mic with my musician friends. Then we all get drunk, and at one point in the night, I get up in front of the mic w/ the theoretical dude and make a heartfelt speech that…

Can Jason Segal just STOP being the most charming human ever? He makes me want to listen to rush and take my panties off at the same time and that is the scariest thing.

I meant to go get tickets then totally forgot, and then I remembered and couldn't remember the play. Too much weed.

dear lord, this dress is fucking awful. She looks like one of those weird spikey rubber ball earrings I had as a kid...

BUT, SERIOUSLY: TREY DESIGNS FOR VERA WANG NOW! Remember his trucker hats? He's come so far.

Psychosomatic.

Um . . . it's chain restaurant pizza. Are we really eating it for its nutritious and healthy whole ingredients in the first place?

Oh hell no. I get seven hours during the week and at least 10 on the weekends. It requires me to go to bed at 10 pm on the weeknights, which strikes me as a ridiculous time to go to sleep, but if I don't get at least seven hours of night night time, I will murder someone.

I've seen comments on youtube with more substance.

Dear Vodka,

MIMOSAS. BRUNCH. that's enough to make it a big winner in my book.