Like old, wet newspapers. What comes out of it has the real flavor, though. Like hot pudding that tastes like a mix of blood, barbecue sauce, gasoline, and the sweat of the dying poor.

Just think... David Duke was fondling his balls under his robe and fired up the ol’ Google for masturbation material. Imagine his penile panic when he typed CAPTAIN AMERICA and got images of brown women. No seed can be spilled until this injustice is righted. *retch*

You are assuming that “Kill All The Jews” is a legitimate political position.

Gold star for you, Sergio. You allowed us all to feel superior for a glorious moment.

The Grindr date that hid in the basement with his power tools while his “prey” tried to figure out how to escape the house..

This is the best idea I’ve read in awhile

Also. Young people have been known to use landlines while charging their phones.

You are a sunbeam, snowflake

Are you Philip J. Fry?

It was until Brent Mynar from Turnip Dump, Alabama decided to update his entire Contacts List one weekend. His mama still can’t see out her left eye. All she had to do was recite her phone number. She was clearly distracted. She does rock an eye patch. The kids at church think she’s a secret pirate and she has fun…

I thought Buttsex was the new “can i get your number?”

They should name their 3rd title in this trilogy Sofa King Deal Laid

PewdieHeil

Udo Kier was born to make people feel uneasy about Eastern Europe.

He puts the S in SVU

He looks like a Disney’s Recess character after years of unhealthy living and seething about black people being allowed to go to school.

“WiiU! WiiU! WiiU! WiiU! WiiU...!”

Which explains all of the death on the set of We Three Bears.

Following Obama with Trump is like listening to Chinese Democracy right after Appetite.

It’s like a hug from mom... from the inside.