Chantel to the main stage, Chantel to the main stage.

No, they already had the Zodiac killer on AHS.

“How do you stop that?”

Wow, HamNo’s literally doing the “WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH AIRPORT FOOD?” bit.

Can we tie Burrows and Marchand together, strap them to a rocket, and fire said rocket into the sun?

Your dad would rather stop living then have to deal with his douchebag of a son.

Tell that to my wife, a teacher in Florida.

All police/firefighter unions have to do to avoid cuts is scream, “9/11 9/11 9/11!”

I too hope to cum loud...preferably in a 69.

I can’t wait to send my kids to a Trump-brand Charter school!

Sooooo we’re supposed to hate this show before it even airs?

Congratulations on doing a better job than io9's actual “writers”

You forgot this one:

“The Witch” was ass. The whole damn movie should’ve had the talking goat. Also, lose the incomprehensible authentic 1600's dialect.

Biebs - still not as much of an asshole as the guy wearing the #69 - Harambe jersey.

#69 with “HARAMBE” on his jersey, even better.

Ugh, the guy made a heroic sacrifice for his country and they named a CROSSFIT workout after him? Why don’t you just piss on his grave?

If only there were some sort of IDENTIFICATION available that would allow you to avoid this.

By lying on the internet.

I hope your virginity is super-exciting.