No, my “skeletons” haven’t come up because I’m not a fucking asshole.

You sound like an awful person.

I bet Samer could beat up Mr. Baseball.

This is America, sitting in a wheelchair nowadays just means you’re fat.

God I hate Eagles fans

Need to add in a bed of guns under him.

So I’m guessing you didn’t get any that night?

He served a little less than one year in jail and remained on probation for the next five.

CAPITAL letters are super FUN to use in RANDOM words. Especially IF you want to MAKE yourself LOOK like an IDIOT.

Are you fucking autistic or something?

Thanks for giving me epilepsy with these.

Congratulations on being good at exercising, I guess?

Let me guess: you’ve never even stepped foot in the state of Texas.

You sound like fun!

If your stripper still has underwear on, why are you giving her $20??????

Not really useful, it doesn’t say how much is “Too Much” for things like fatty foods. My dog will gobble up french fries to no end.

The only people who hate Eagles fans more than the rest of the universe are other Eagles fans.

“Each and every thing the team does is met by rage and indignation or blind optimism.”

+1d20

He doesn’t say *which* league. That may be a factual statement if he’s talking about the Arena League or the Lingerie League.