Downside: Finger print marks all over your screen.

Apparently you’ve never been to a *good* strip club. Horrible strip clubs are horrible.

They’re safe in that they safely make you look like a douche.

Generally one gets the biggest increases in salary by switching jobs, so I could see that as being one benefit.

Gonna post a picture of an MP3 Player because it’s the goddamn 21st century. Fucking hipsters.

I know, it’s not that hard to do some interesting stuff on the cheap. Beats sitting around your house till you’re 45.

Or you could, you know, take those vacations and actually have an interesting life.

Good to see you stopped crying over your buttboy Craggs enough to write an idiotic superhero treatise.

Thanks in advance for scaring the shit out of my poor dog, fuckfaces.

AWWWWWWWWW SOOOOO FUZZZZZYYYYYYYYYYYYY

In Cutler’s defense, he’s sustained A LOT of brain injuries.

Except that the flight to Cleveland winds up in, you know, Cleveland.

My dog has a shit-ton of taxable income so it really would be beneficial to marry her.

I don’t see the two basic exercises in there either.

SQUATS, SQUATS, SQUATS SQUATS SQUATS, SQUATS, SQUATS, SQUATS, SQUATS SQUATS SQUATS SQUATS EVVVERRRRRRYYBODDDYYY

Who else said, “BALLS” immediately after saying his name?

You forgot about making a wanking motion while saying #1.

“If you make $40k a year, and have $200K in student loans, you made poor decisions about college.” - yup, you decided to get an education and didn’t get a high-paying finance job, your punishment is DEBT FOR LIFE. Yeesh.

Me too! If I forget to charge my player, I might as well just pack it up and go home.

One could run while carrying a phonograph, it would probably count as resistance training!