For a second, I didn’t read the part about “endurance skates” and thought you were running at 20mph and maybe Usain Bolt was commenting on Lifehacker.

If MP3 players suddenly disappeared off the face of the planet, I think I would stop exercising.

I run a lot, but I hate running. I love the feeling after, though!

This is great, please post your next rambling, masturbatory wall of text.

Doesn’t help renters at all.

Man, no wonder why you’re unemployed.

You were expecting accuracy from an article that implied ancient humans loved Siberia????

Man, you managed to blather for quite a while without actually saying anything. No wonder why you liked this article.

You can start with mine. I poured some extra Haterade on it.

So the way to get good at stuff is to do a lot of research? NO FUCKING SHIT WHAT AN IDEA.

He’s going to build a Hall made entirely of Speech????????????? He should be elected into some sort of hall of fame for that achievement.

U FORGOT BENGHAZI!!!!1!

I love that apparently now there is a finite amount of bravery in the world. Like somehow Caitlyn Jenner being brave takes away from soldiers being brave.

You really don’t, although the fact that you think so makes me concerned that you have some unresolved mental health issues. I would seriously consider some sort of counseling/therapy.

Oh boohoo, you got to have no-strings attached sex.

Oh yea, those crazy females, with their non-sensical emotions and whatnot. Seriously, you sound like an awful person.

Maybe you should work harder on finding single girls as opposed to creeping on ones that are already in a relationship.

Now I gotta know which Aerosmith song is ideal for masturbating.

I don’t think Nickelback is all that bad. They produce bland moderate rock and stupid songs about pictures. It’s not like they’re singing about murdering all the Jews or anything, jeez.

You seem about as intelligent as most Rangers fans.