Well, if there's anyone that can teach about relationships, boundaries, and respect; it's the Germans.

Don't do what I did last week and eat a bunch of quinoa pasta mac+cheese the night before. Halfway through a 10k I had to make an emergency pit stop.

Actually, coffee has been shown to increase athletic performance.

I'm not sure I want to tap into my sensuality as I walk around the office, that may get me fired.

Wait, Ryan Mallett actually completed passes?????

Bacon....is there anything it CAN'T do?

I bet that dude's wife LOVED that he spent hours writing while in Hawaii.

Are you sure you don't drink? Because you're rambling on like a drunk person?

Ooooooooh good catch!

I'm counting Hulu as TV.

He's probably drunk.

He drank Bud Ice, but did he beware the penguins???????

I think you need to start finding better booze to drink also maybe remove the stick from your ass?

Wow your response to this was much better than mine, plus you used the word "panoply"!

That actually sounds about right, considering you're some kind of awesome, giant-type fellow.

Oooh ooh, let's play what's worse, listening to:

More like vodka and water, hold the water, AMIRIGHT?

Some of us need to drink to make being around people like you tolerable.

No St. Louis Cardinal would ever drive a flashy car like that!

I dunno, 5 minutes a day? That's 5 minutes that I could spend masturbating instead.