He gave up after four whacks?! I guess masturbation really has lost its fun.

Yeah! Stand up, ladies! I said stand up!

I loved these guys when I was a teen in the 90's, but faux edgy is their brand now.

He obviously has an eating disorder.

If you look real close, after that second three, you can actually see Rudy Gay let the controller fall to the floor and go walk around the house for a bit

I used to be theater manager for a theater that hosted screening for various guilds and organizations. The group I dreaded seeing the most was Australians in Film. They combined the narcissistic aloofness of the worst Californian stereotype with the brash redneckness of the worst Texan stereotype with the drinking…

You mean this noise?

and my fucking god, I want to punch something.

This is a fair point and the article has been amended in the interests of the ethics.

Where is the disclosure about this author’s relationship with the White Sox? Let’s get some transparency here, Marchman. 

Either that or the start of an AA meeting story.

They drove a dumptruck full of money up to his house!  He’s not made of stone! 

You know Ivanka Trump keeps a six pack of $20 marshmallows in her desk drawer in the White House. She opens the drawer at least 27 times a day and looks forlornly at them, reminiscing on simpler times. Then, on the 28th occasion, she gently removes one from the package, holds it to her eyes like she’s looking at the…

First, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

A Williams-Sonoma henchman came up behind him while he was demonstrating the Drew Dance for some fans on the street and hit him with a Coravin Midnight Blue Model 2 Elite Pro wine bottle opener.

He’s fleein’ the interview!

For posterity:

“Oh, yer gonna want the Tru-Coat.”