Did you read the short story Chimamanda Adichie wrote about Melania? Fucking beautiful.

NZT-48.

Let’s split the difference and agree that the flight attendant is an idiot without insulting people based on their professions.

Can you also slap Boris Epshteyn? That way no one will think you are a sexist, and also you get to slap Boris Epshteyn.

I try to stay away from hair-brained conspiracy theories, but I’d like to know if Gilberthorpe is pals with Farage, who was recently seen at a Trump rally. Anyone on the east side of The Pond know if Gilberetc. is a UKIP man?

On the other hand, and just as strange, Farage is now walking back his support for the Orange…

And now, your Friday feels:

No, you’re right, it’s not a coincidence that these reports are coming 26 days before Election Day, Don. YOU’RE RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT.

Congratulations, you just helped Dan Quayle complete his crossword puzzle.

Melania can wear the FUCK out of a suit though.

To be fair they tried to give him a double-breasked jacket but he couldn’t stop laughing, grabbing at the air, and making honking noises.

I can’t stop picturing Hillary Clinton kissing her fingers and pressing them to her wallet sized photo of Beyoncé for good luck before each speech. “We got this, Bey...who run the world?”

“Maybe when I was younger and prettier, that may have happened to me.”

She also said to stop calling it sexual assault because Trump didn’t say the words “sexual assault” in the tape.