It’s gotta be L’Carpetron Dookmarriott.

He probably started with masturbating in front of small animals.

Yep. Time to head on over to b-ref. 

Sports Graphically Illustrated

He clearly wasn’t a team player, since his only true joy was playing with himself.

This is...    way too much information.

How can you criticize a guy who is always pulling for his teammates?

Ah, so the soldier thing was metaphorical, but his discharge was literal.

I can understand packing a fleshlight to use discreetly on the road, but it takes a psychopathic level of commitment to one’s masturbation habits to travel with a lifesize replica of a headless, limbless woman to fuck right there in front of others.

What she plans to do next: A book deal, a speaking circuit, and eventually holding office at the Arkansas-state level (most likely the Governorship), which will be achieved entirely on the back of name-recognition, and not actual political or personal value.

...and that recognition, by the way, will boil down to “I…

What is this, a flow-chart for ants!

I definitely prefer the current VC-25 livery:

Blondes, that's his interest. He's hoping it's a land of women who look like Ivanka

He is a glorified whore.

Again. Admitted it, *again*. Christ on an ass, the federal government has to remove him from office for fuck’s sake.

Uh clearly you are forgetting Flair’s betrayal of Sting in his 1990 heel turn that led ultimately to him being revealed as the Black Scorpion.

Lol, then what the fuck is he saying the Clinton campaign should be investigated for?

Ric Flair isn’t a traitor.

Trump is a traitor. He is for sale to the highest foreign bidder.