Green shoes are sexxy

Trump Derangement Syndrome as a legal defense. 

Something something PASS GAS something. nailed it

What its like to Be an Asshole

Orb gang our time is now! Mother Marianne for Sec of Energy abolish the rest of the government 🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮 woooooo! (Ric Flair hologram via crystal)

Ironically becoming a doctor or lawyer are some of the few instances where your undergrad alma mater actually doesn’t matter, so much as LSAT and MCAT scores. Yes law firms care where you went to law school but physicians are so in demand recruiters throw money at anyone licensed to practice.

Rooney Mara cosplayed as the girl with the dragon tattoo for 4 years and still got nothing on the original. 

Другие Хамилтон thank you for consistently backing Elizabeth Warren’s pragmatism in the face of the inevitable disillusionment a Bernie administration would provide. We need her apparatchska Trotskyism not Berniebro tankyism.

He started with Obama. 

They already used it ^

Mario’s a bad plumber because he stalks his ex, breaks into her new bf’s house and stomps all his friends while looting and vandalizing the place until someone yells Peach isn’t even here right now. 

SNL pays 525 grand per year+ standup performances. After taxes, this ring costs roughly year of income, maybe more. However, this is iconic living legend Scarlett Johansson we’re talking about; l being engaged to her is easily Colin Jost’s greatest achievement. Even if their relationship is doomed, getting her to say…

Chinese-American neurosurgeon with degrees from Stanford and Duke, but keep blowing that dog whistle.

You get invited to a lot of parties don't you? 

I would have done it for free but that's because WORKERS OF THE WORLD UNITE

*4% of his voters have died since 2016

That’s not a conspiracy theory, that’s what actual people say who worked on the base. 

Too weak for physical labor, too dumb for mental labor, but proud of being a boy.