Eva Green scares me too. Not her eyes. The fact that she's my age, and I vividly remember when she was the young ingenue circa The Dreamers. That feels like 10 minutes ago, and yet now she's playing the mom to a teenager.

All of us old people keep saying that Saint, North, Blue, Royal Reign, Apple, Pilot Inspektor, Bronx and Audio Science are going to be laughingstocks. But at what point do these names become the new normal, and kids start picking on other kids named, like Matthew? "Your name's David? What were you, like named after…

I feel pretty strongly that most of these were written with a purpose. Not to actually provide reviews, but to rack up "Cool" or "Funny" points. Most of which aren't either, but still. The bat guy? Was totally looking for that Hunter S. Thompson reference.

Hey! Those commercials were YOUR idea!!!!!

Last time I did this, I got more than a patch!

John Mayer gets a 10 out of 10 at intercourse. Which is how we know it's a lie.

In extremely rare cases, rich people have been known to pass their condition along to others, usually to spouses, adopted children, and their accountant's nephew. However, as you are "the help" you are safely ensconced in the "Lowest Possible Risk" pool.

It's okay, everyone! Deep breaths! Despite what Republicans have been trying to sell voters for years, Affluenza is not contagious. I repeat, you are not, at any point, in danger of catching Affluenza.

Agreed. I wouldn't wear any of it as styled in the look book, but I would totally wear some of that stuff.

Agreed. I really love some of his movies, others are just meh. But Kevin Smith, the actual person? Is my favorite.

I spent most of my 20's buying every expensive bottle of perfume ever manufactured. A decade later, the ones that I still buy/wear are:

Jo Malone? I know she has a grapefruit scent, I'm not sure if it's unisex. But her French Lime Blossom is one of my favorites.

Justin Beiber has a perfume? Awesome. I've always wanted to walk around smelling like gym socks and entitlement.

Well yeah, I agree that people who are well-suited for one another have a better shot than those that aren't. I just think it's rarely as simple as "People with more money have less to worry about and so they will argue less."

I don't know about that. I live in a town that's full of upper-middle class/flat out rich families. Some of them actually hate each other, but would rather live forever in an unhappy marriage than give the neighborhood the satisfaction of gossiping about them. It's all about keeping up appearances.

Hmmm. Based not on science, but my own observations, I have a hard time believing that the marriages are any happier, but that the people who need 10 foot towering floral arrangements on every table and swan ice sculptures and 300 wedding guests are the exact same kind of people who would rather die than admit that…

I know this isn't meant to be a funny story, but the thought of him calling her dad and pretending to be his dad is making me laugh like hell. Mostly because I'm imagining Cameron calling Mr. Rooney in Ferris Bueller. "Mistah Rooneh? This is George Petuh-sun!"

That is totally me right now. School starts in 2 weeks. If my children don't kill me, or each other by then.

reconnects with his high school friend Peter Sarsgaard, who is foine.

Throw in a bottle of Two Buck Chuck, and that's basically my every Friday night for the past 6 years.