Seriously. A very long time ago, when I had no children and lots of disposable income, I was in Italy with my (very wealthy) aunt. We went into a Frette store because she wanted to buy new linens. Before that day, I hadn't even realized it was possible to spend $1000+ on fucking bed sheets. Of course her husband is…

I don't know, I think those ultrasound estimates are crazy accurate. When I realized I was pregnant with my second, I had no idea how far along I was, as I still hadn't had a period since the birth of my first, 10 months earlier. When I went for the ultrasound, the woman was able to pinpoint the exact day of…

Well then, that makes way more sense.

Wait, is that Kanye's actual bed? That's disappointing. I mean, it looks comfy and all, but from what I can see of it, it's strikingly similar to my own bed, which I purchased from West Elm. With a coupon code. I pictured Kanye West sleeping atop some 4-poster mahogany monstrosity custom made to resemble the sleeping…

"SPOTLIGHT DANCE! Ultra New Wave music!"

I once read a comment (maybe it was here) pointing out that Kit Harington always looks like he can't believe how gross your bathroom is. It's funny 'cuz it's true. Now that I know he's a descendant of a toilet magnate, it just makes me laugh harder.

I'm a smug, self-righteous egomaniac

Very not very interesting.

You vastly overestimate how seriously I'm taking you right now. "REALLY SERIOUS SHIT" =/= "I'm bored and feel like being rude to a shithead on the internet because it beats putting the laundry away."

Who said anything about leaving? I'm just suggesting that you take 30 seconds of the time you spend appointing yourself Captain Safe Space of the Bodyism Police: Internet Comment Division, and maybe reflect on how "smarmy dickhead" isn't a good look.

Bodyism? Sweet fancy Christ on a bicycle, are you for real?

I am so jealous that you get to experience the awesomeness that is SFU for the first time. It's probably my favorite show of all time, and I love the fuck out of many shows.

I don't know, man. What I do know, is that you seem to be spending a lot of time trying to let everyone know that you don't care what they think about celebrities, as though your opinion of their opinion of celebrities is somehow more interesting.

Yeah, why masturbate over Tom Hiddleston, or any celebrity for that matter, when you can masturbate to the idea that you're the Internet Arbiter of All Things Interesting?

She's been conditioned to fear and respect the escalator.

The most shocking thing to me, was that this was not the Christufuh she was talking about.

But did she send raunchy sexts on company time?

Fuck the PPA, indeed. I once had to pay a $100 fine for a parking ticket that wasn't even for me! Some illiterate meter maid with shitty handwriting wrote the ticket out (this was back in the 90's when they still hand wrote tickets.) and the plate number was totally illegible. I hadn't been within 50 miles of Philly…

Yeah, I grew up in California, and although I refuse to take sides in the whole "Which is worse/scorching dry desert heat vs. 98% humidity debate (hot is hot, yo!) the NJ humidity is unlike anything I'd ever experienced. Even if it's only 85 degrees, the air is so thick, it feels like you're swimming.

As a Jersey resident, I will not argue your first 2 points, but the third? If there is one thing Jersey knows about, it's humidity. It doesn't even get that ridiculously hot, but in the summer, opening your front door feels like opening your dishwasher, mid-cycle.