Before I knew I was pregnant, I was certain that I had chronic fatigue syndrome and/or malaria. I would come home from work and flop on the couch to sleep for 3 hours. Luckily for me, I am part of a crew team, so I had a gaggle of ladies waiting for me for our pre-scheduled winter workouts.

Holy Christ, she's obnoxious. I didn't use to have an opinion on Cameron Diaz, but now I want to push her off a pier.

I always say, "present it." I heard that in a movie or a TV show — don't remember. They certainly don't expect it. Also, "why? I doubt it's particularly impressive" works.

I work with a lot of evolutionary biologists. I've never heard any of them say "nyah nyah, yer stupid!" Mostly, the researchers at my library are nerds who would never dare call someone stupid for having an opposing thought; they would rather follow all possible interpretations to their logical conclusions.

I was 24, he was 28. He was mostly homeless (couch surfing, being in a band, etc.) and I had an extra room in my house. He moved in before we really had any kind of "relationship" discussion.

What in god's name is an "ear cuff"? Do I even want to know that? I have a feeling that I'll be more stupid if I google that.

oh my goodness, her hair is pretty!

Well, Princeton Mom, I'm just being honest and I believe that you look like Joy Behar's evil twin.

shaving is so itchy!

pubes

broken dreams, broken buttholes.

Holy shit! I had that Barbie. Did you have the glow-in-the-dark bed? Terrible terrible things happened in that bed.

I was too young when I learned about the Holocaust. I shaved all my Barbies and placed them on a cookie sheet, just as my mother was walking into the kitchen. I can't imagine the look on her face when she learned that her little girl was "playing Shoah."

My Kens were subjected to left-leg amputation as soon as they…

Seriously. I'm pregnant and I worry about how to teach my potential kid about consent. I would be horrified if my child did this to someone. Is there a manual somewhere?

Older women for the GOLD! I recently joined an All Women Crew Team. Most of the members are over 50. We have winter practices on Tuesday and Thursday nights. These last few nights, I've been the youngest by at least a generation (I'm 36). Doing hard work-outs and intense core exercises with women who are sometimes…

fucking coats, man. I'm not even that cold.

There's a moment in Parenthood (season 1) where a pregnant woman is asked what she's having. She answers, with the best fake smile, "It's a human, so, yeah, we're pretty excited!"

or Sarcone's.

The color, the fit, everything is perfect about this dress and the way this lady is wearing it (I'm not pop-culture savvy). She is what my dad would call A Stunner.

Isn't that a "rule" somewhere? She's such a pretty lady and this dress yells "look at me!" - everyone already is, Lady! I feel like if the top part were a turtleneck and the slit was still there, we'd all be plotzing right now.