My husband and I are setting ourselves up for this. He never finished college, so his job prospects are limited. I've got a Masters and a good steady career in academia. We want a kid (kids?), but won't be able to afford child-care. He's kind of a natural with kids (has a lot of patience, experience, etc.) so I think…

It was really jarring to wake up to "Shut the fuck up, Nigger!" as he hit his alarm clock. Needless to say, I didn't stick around for the snooze. I wasn't very awake, so all I could muster was "ugh, I can't believe I let you see me naked." It was a really weird day.

My mother had a face lift when I was in college. I came home as a birthday surprise to her, only to find her in the Sun Room all bruised and bandaged. I immediately started to cry. Backstory: my father used to beat the shit out of her on the regular. My step-dad is the coolest of cools (I call him Dad). I thought my…

The guy who called his alarm clock "nigger"

Oh shit. I was just talking to a friend about our love of Thomas Hardy. I suppose all of my exes would say I made them miserable. WOMP WOMP.

O - Brooklyn anything.

Air France lost her luggage and her French best friend, Fi-Fi, is also a stripper.

Is there anything you can do pre-surgery to get your body ready? Are you on a special diet and exercise plan? Do you meditate a lot? Are you puzzle master?

My cousin had She-Ra everything, including Beaux (Bo?). I was so jealous. I think I tried to steal one of the dolls. I was probably caught and humiliated, since I have the subtlety of a rhino.

oh, wow. So I guess you monitor your heart health and try to do as much soduku as possible?

If it's only the first year or so, this seems like such a wise decision. I hope that you and yours travel safely and for a long time to come. L'Chaim!

(Don't feel like you have to answer this question; I know it's personal.)

Are there any health risks to going through menopause early? The hot flashes don't last forever right?

you're so right. I live with four assholes. I love them, but they are assholes. I sprained my ankle pretty badly earlier this week. A dog would sit by my side and lick me or look cute. My cats? They try to trip me and they jump on my bum foot while I sleep. I regularly tell them to get a job.

The greatest thing my mom gave me was not my amazing set of get-away-sticks, it was a her recipe for orange-scented brioche. You can also make it rose-scented, if you feel fancy.

WOAW! What kind of super juicing are you into?! (I'm seriously curious: how did it happen?)

I am on board with your love of juice and your Jack LaLanne Juicer. I, too, have one of those magnificent machines. I have to say, our very awesome restaurant-grade spray faucet is the only way to clean that fucker. I have no idea how you plebes do it.

A South African friend of mine shocked me once. We were talking about race and how we define ourselves and American, etc. Out of nowhere he announces that in South Africa, he would be considered "Coloured." I almost fell out of my chair. But, yup.

alka-seltzer, extra spicy pho, ginger tea in that order. Followed by a marathon of Netflix or This American Life (if you can't open your eyes).

Don't forget the fountain pens. So many fountain pens.

I keep trying to remind myself that being able to run on my two legs and build sandcastles with my two hands is a lucky privilege. I've had body-issues all my life and I'm sick and tired of them. At 36, planning on having a baby one day soon, I need to get over this shit so badly. If I have a girl, I don't want to…