Every once in a while...it’s a dildo. Of course, it’s company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We have to use the indefinite article, “a dildo”, never ... your dildo.

Universally, this mean someones wants something from me.  Which they will not get. 

What if The Boss is calling out The Big Man?

Jesus Christ, don’t call people “boss.” It reveals you as a person who isn’t clever enough to be manipulative in a subtle manner.

Uh how can you enforce a “Castle Doctrine” if it isn’t your fucking Castle? Again why the fuck are people determined to help police continue their fuck ups no matter what? Murder was always going to be hard to pin on this bitch but her ass is likely going to walk thanks to the Chad’s & Becky’s on the jury. I thought…

You guys aren’t looking at the big picture. It rains diamonds on Neptune. Diamonds. What a score. If only there were a crew crazy enough to pull it off.

Pffffft. It’s just locker room talk, snowflakes!

I know he looked good in preseason, and anyone can look good in the preseason.

But at least the new helmet is working out though.

This is the worst episode of Ballers ever. 

At this point, I genuinely wonder if Trump has dirt on Pelosi, or if there are skeletons in her closet that are so heinous that she’s terrified of them coming to light if she were to push too hard against Trump. The alternative is simply that she’s a craven, spineless weasel entirely unworthy of her position.

“It’s the greatest Kinja update ever. It’s the best. Tremendous. No one has ever seen a Kinja update like this. Of course, Obama never had as a good of a Kinja update.”

Apropos of nothing, but has there ever been a Kinja update that has been warmly received? I’ve never seen a system where every update provides either less functionality or less convenient functionality.

Why isn’t this happening to trump?

While the Pro models offer some impressive tech for people hoping for the very most from their photos, for most people, the $700 iPhone 11 offers a whole lot of value.

What kills me is that this is a decision someone consciously made. Some actual human being is that stupid.

*womp*

I haven’t been this proud to be Canadian since the 2016 US presidential election.

And like that, the laughs of a million Steelers fans were suddenly silenced.

But...but he was trying to prevent a mutiny!!!