Awww man y'all forgot Seth Moulton and we haven't even STARTED yet

Just wear a fuckin’ tshirt guys

Kinda surprised this isn't on Deadspin, what with it ending up being a dunk contest and all

Another way you've already lost is answering a question by listing your accomplishments that don't really have anything to do with what he's asking

Also, the report on said blowjob read like a shitty romance novel

Wow I knew his season in Miami was horrendous but at least it transcended football

Boy, it's sure is difficult to do all that when the company you run pays $0 in federal taxes

and someday in the future, a family will be sitting around the living room. the youngest, a boy, gazes upon the image on his tablet.

But how else would I know that I can put my return on one of their prepaid cards that probably have a fee attached?

FWIW I had to Google him to make sure that his legal name was actually John. Guessing Lauren went to his Wikipedia page?

Yes, allowing the spread of an easily preventable illness sure isn’t a medical emergency! My eyes cannot roll any harder. Did you read The Stand and thought “nah, doesn’t seem like an issue”

Or just forget about it. 

And to think, we got another 18 months of this and I’m sick of his shit

Wendell Primus? That name sounds long for mud

This is great news for people who ride the Metro-North every day and hope they miss the playoffs so the fucking train doesn't have to stop there on game days 6 hours after the game ENDS. 

“A Republican Senator” = “An anonymous NFL owner not affiliated with the Green Bay Packers”

Who doesn't love polysyllabic chants? They roll right off the tongue!

The biggest problem, I think, is one you glossed over. Most of these shitheads usually run unopposed, so they basically get to run around and play emperor. And why not? They don’t have anyone challenging them during those lean midterm years. Of course, filling out every bubble matters, but you gotta have more than one…

Still waiting for Peggy Noonan to lose hers

Finally, a post that isn’t about politics!