Definitely not the USMNT, who generally loses past the group stage and never finished higher than 8th, they're too mediocre to be truly ass

You misattributed the “nowhere near professional” quote; that was said by Rich Divizio. It's in the article that you linked to!

Do you ever watch old George Carlin shows and when he talks about these NIMBY people, you go “HE’S TALKING ABOUT MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

If Easter had a dedicated day, say, the last Sunday in March, it'd be a lot higher. It's pretty much Spring Thanksgiving. 

Now if someone decides to make a homebrew version of Shut Up And Dribble for the Genesis, I’d purchase that in a heartbeat

he’s such a tough guy and loves the military so much that he doesn't have to visit them! he does it through osmosis!

Guessing those geology skills come in handy when talking about the forest

The best thing about all this is Ronda is TWO DAYS YOUNGER THAN BECKY. 

I’ll take “Superman Villains” for $400, Alex

Apparently he buys all of his groceries from Costco

You never have to worry about stealing an election if you've already given yourself the advantage!

In a just world, this means he'd be disbarred, correct?

He welcomes tough questions but onwy if dey didn't hurt his widdle feewings!

They become part of the cookie

I’m still wondering why they don't pick literally anyone else in the house to be the speaker 

Counterpoint: every podcast is good to sleep to

thinking it should be like a custody battle where on odd numbered years we fall back, but on even numbered years we spring ahead, and then you gotta figure out who gets the kid first on thanksgiving 

On the bright side, people will listen to James Blunt even less than they were previously 

Nope, the answer we were looking for was “Florida”

Why, it’s almost like Republicans don’t like people who look different than they do! SO WEIRD