brb gonna go watch Midnight Run on loop

It appears that the manager ate the gratuity

Jay Z has always sounded like he decided to run a 5K before going into the studio

It has to die, if only for the ability for Bryan Alvarez and R.D. Reynolds to write the book

“Fired one year after winning Manager of the Year? Amateur.”

Grilled cheese + fries - bread = cheese fries

brb gonna order food and yell “POW!” at the end

I feel like the Roku stick is suuuuuuuper slow, especially when you’re used to how quick the Roku 3 is. Has anyone else experienced that?

Douchegasm

Couldn’t understand that last story; it was all Greek to me

Probably thought it was more tender like that

But what if a sex story involves poop or vomit

Wait, like a coach SPECIFICALLY for quarterbacks? Dave, you’ve gone too far this time.

Reincarnation, most likely

THIS

Didn't know calling in dead was a thing. Totally trying that out tomorrow.

Only slightly disappointed that there weren't more Meat Loaf references

Hey there, Delilah Garrett, I don’t see us anywhere on this list

Actually I probably would trust Jim Tomsula with a hoagie

-2 towers