The way these things work (Scare Tactics, Carbanaro Effect, etc) is through temp agencies. Do you not know how they work? People get hired for a day, a half-day, whatever the client needs. It is NOT a “part-time” job, and writing a story claiming that is irresponsible. These people showed up expecting to do a single…

citation needed

OMG IT’S A SEQUEL TO LEGACY OF THE WIZARD!

I think it is hard to blame companies for not wanting to send their female employees to Georgia. What if, god forbid, one of their pregnant employees miscarries, and these dolts refuse to do an abortion because the fetus “might still be viable”? Or their employee gets charged with murder for miscarrying? Gets raped…

This is like saying the Beatles are the most overrated band.  It doesn’t actually matter if you’re right or not, because you’re only saying it to pick a boring, tired fight anyway.  

Will shit himself? Oh Katherine, what do you think is happening during those five hours of “executive time” every morning? He soils himself every night while asleep. His assistants roll him out of bed and get him to the shower to hose him down. The sheets are peeled off of the plastic wrapped mattress and taken to be…

Being pro Jared is pretty much a crime. What’s next, Kevin United? Todd Federation? Tucker Coalition? Fuck Tucker. Tucker sucks. And his friend, the Kyle Contingent. 

MY PEOPLE NEED ME.

IT'S A TIME CUBE

It ends with Aunt Becky by herself writing in a journal:
“Jesse actually died. He was electrocuted while performing with the Beach Boys. I started writing to cope with the grief over the fact that Nicky & Alex would rather be ‘influencers’ than go to college.”

Chicken pot pies are not bullshit. Sure, if you spent $5 on a Marie Callender one that takes an hour to bake, la de dah mister moneybags, but the real trick here is to get the Banquet chicken pot pies, you know, the ones in the red box that are five for five bucks if not cheaper.

I imagine he’s probably choked her to death a few times and buried her body in the yard in the night after one of these romps only to wake up to her alive and smiling at him as he opens his eyes telling him she’s off to work and thanking him for the wild night with a coy wink that says “already waiting for whatever…

Guess which president recieved qualifiably-more gifts than Trump? I will give you a hint: it starts with the letter “O” and it ends with “bama”.

Melania is from Slovenia.

Ok Splinter. We see the bias. Sure the Democrats had a good day but the Republicans won’t be defeated. I know for a fact this morning Jim Jordan personally rallied the Republicans. He told the most touching story about how turning a blind eye to wrongdoing can lead to great things. He told the inspiring story of the…

Being straight

Eh. There’s plenty of trash in the UK and Australia and Canada. You just don’t realize it because the legacy of colonialism makes you think all British people sound classy, Australian accents are jovial and warm and disarming, and you forget Canada exists unless you want to make a joke about nice people who wear a lot…

Gary Clark Junior’s This Land opens with “pissed off and paranoid” and builds to:

I know! And not everyone has a cousin Kevin. Like does this “journalist” think that we all just go around talking to “cousin Kevins”? WTF! The Kevin I’m related to is my uncle, not my cousin, and uncle Kevin is a farmer, not an accountant. Some people aren’t even related to a Kevin at all. Some people don’t even have…

If he sues, Lifetime will just make a Lifetime Movie about it.