Yeah, I have a MAJOR issue. Zelda is consuming my entire life, and I’m at risk of losing a grip to anything else I lived for before this game. So...can I, like, sue Nintendo for that?

What a wonderful time to be alive!

I’m glad someone enjoyed that line. I thought it was one of my better efforts today.

I applaud your utopianism, but it won’t happen (neither the young nor the old) for precisely the reason the reverse already happened.

No, the People’s Republic of Kaliferrnia is a Kommie infiltration. They are Soshalists from weird countries and they want to take away our freedom’s and gun’s and car’s and Bible’s. They also want to turn us all into LGBT’s and pay for the illegal’s. They should saceed from the Union and we should pull their funding…

This never failed with my two sons—who are now amost teens—and Who countless times flew domestic and internationally: I prepared carefully the several days before flying, buying many small and inexpensive treats (snacks, candy, matchbox cars, Ring Pops, playdoh, coloring books and art supplies etc.) and splurging on…

Mitch McConnell makes a mockery of decency, fair play and the United States Constitution. And, of course, soup.

This is LITERALLY the song I was thinking of when I wrote this comment. It sounds like Daniel Powter, and other songs from that year like Cable Car by the Fray, and Five for Fighting’s terrible 100 years song.

Nothing will top the trailer for the shitty Lifetime Brittany Murphy biopic.

“You go to Narshe, Zozo, Kohlingen, you go anywhere you want, and you will see devastation where Autocrossbow manufacturing is down 30, 40, sometimes 50 percent. Jidoor has a VAT tax. When we sell into Jidoor there’s a tax, automatic, 16 percent. When they sell into us, there’s no tax!”

“When The Veldt sends it people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re sending people that have lots of beasts and they’re bringing those beasts to us. They’re bringing Silver Lobos. They’re bringing Crawlies. They’re Greasemonks. And some, I assume, are good Espers.”

I really liked Philly when I’ve visited, for what it’s worth! Haha.

And of course she isn’t even an native New Yorker. They never are. My New York family (born and raised there) loves LA. Big city people typically appreciate other big cities, regardless of their flaws.

I’m a native Angeleno and, while I absolutely love it here and would miss the hell out of it if I had to move to the east coast, I wouldn’t shit all over the new city like it’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. I try to make the best out of all my situations and I understand that not all cities were made the…

His report card.

Jason Chaffetz desperately needs to be dropped off a tall building. For the good of the country.

omg I wonder what ice cream Jonathan Cheban I got, I bet it was so good. He probably looked at the menu and just knew from reading the words that his ice cream would taste so super good. I hope, for everyone’s sake, that Kim did not get the rock shrimp.

the writer of the US Weekly article doesn’t understand DST because he doesn’t understand anything. like the fact that your favorite Friends episode only takes up 23 minutes, not a whole extra hour. or literally anything about to-go breakfast-food establishments:

fuck off