if he thinks being president is hard on him, he should see what its doing to us.

It’s about ethics in dick pics.

Makes me want to put another schnitzel on the barbie

It was a sad day when women started calling me “sir.”

Maybe the bears will get her.

NYT: He will sometimes set off to explore the unfamiliar surroundings of his new home.

DENMAKR is a dating app that describes itself as being “for Bob Villa types.”

1. I have never seen Miracle on 34th Street.

My husband did this stuff for a while before we met and now I’m pretty much living in fear that he’ll go senile at 40 from the head hits. I will never understand why he would allow someone to hit him in his beautiful face, but he loved it, and he didn’t even make any money off of it. My point is, people are weird…

rumour has it there was a circumcision option in the beta, but it was cut.

I thought that was going to happen anyway... what with the big one finally coming and everything east of California plunging into the Atlantic Ocean.

We just let them secede, then we’ll cut off the water at the Rockies and send it in trucks to Flint.

They should’ve called it Six Days, Seven Fights

I can’t remember, is this statue Time Out or Incomplete Pass Jesus.

As far as I can tell, the positive benefits are based on the presumption that Mexicans do not have ladder technology.

People are always comparing Trump to Hitler. But, c’mon, at least Hitler actually wrote his own book.

“My crowd was bigger than Obama’s in ‘09 if you take out the people who were at his inauguration illegally.” - Donald Trump

I am obsessed with any movie that has a giant monster terrorizing a town, ala Godzilla, and try my hardest to see them all. I frequently have Godzilla dreams, and although they are scary, I am always extremely thrilled in the morning when I wake up.

shhh....please, commenters, don’t spoil this article for me. I’m going to catch it later on NBC as it’s intended.