The World of Nostalgic Masturbation will doing the Brooklyn Vegan showcase at SXSW.

Robert Kraft? Go the fuck away, you horny old frog. Sell this team and spend the rest of your time holding airborne Bon Jovi karaoke orgies.

“In related news, I have also taken on the burden of eating chocolate chip cookies for everyone. You’re welcome.”

Jumpin Jesus on a pogo stick, everyone knows the best, nay, only, good Christmas song is “Christmas Wrapping.”

I have this argument every year. This is by far not only the worst Christmas song ever written but one of the worst songs ever written. It beats out Christmas Shoes because it’s Paul McCartney and we expect more out of a Beatle. No one cares about some sad sack one hit wonder.

How is Angelos a great Baltimorean? And that makes him qualified to keep running this team into the ground? As a resident of said city I’d say more people are sick of his shit than Duquette. By saying they’re afraid to lose him to FA they’re admitting they just don’t want to pay him and in essence they’re saying fuck…

I saw Fascist Barbies open up for Fear at the Starwood in ‘79.

This comment needs as much love as humanly possible right now. Perfection.