Film and television are visual mediums.

“CSI: Oxnard” looks promising.

It’s almost as if raising entire generations of people with kid gloves and teaching them from day one of their existence that every last bit of what they say, do, and feel was immaculate poetry delivered from on high was a bad idea.

Thanks for chiming in, Jeff.

You can watch the actual incident right here and see for yourself how much of a giant fucking nothingburger with nothingfries this whole thing really is, you cheap fuck. God forbid you actually pay for something.

I’ve seen it so many times that I could recite the whole goddamn thing by heart, and I can still enjoy it now purely for nostalgia reasons. It’s less of a movie for me now than it is Christmas wallpaper to have on in the background while opening gifts and eating my mom’s terrible Christmas Day breakfast. TV stations…

CHRRRRRIIIIISTUUUUUPHUUUUHHHH

Awwww, maybe one day they can launder each other’s money. Adorable.

“Yeah, no we’re not.” - actual white people

I wasn’t sure if I was watching Atlanta or a particularly great episode of ‘Documentary Now!’

It’s okay. I’m sure there are lots of things you don’t understand.

There is no try. Only (Brawn)do.

You flatter me so.

You’re either too young or too dumb to realize how much of a compliment that is, but regardless, everything about you has been disappointing. I’m sure your actual dad feels the same way.

Not offended, just bored. Was that all the dim flickering candle inside your skull could manage, or were you just that excited about seeing your very own words on a screen?

The beverages are clearly going to be called Brawndo.

Wow, what an in-depth analysis. Did you write this doctoral thesis yourself? Or did you just copy this low-effort bullshit straight from Reddit while sitting on the toilet?

I know plenty of rich people. They don’t act like this.

May a mighty wave of the cancerAIDS inflict ye and your kin from this day forth, good sir.

He must’ve hit traffic coming out from under his bridge.