If Rob thinks the SNL writers these days are bad, he should set up a Zoom call with the current AVC crew. He wouldn’t even need to fly to LA (where they all were forced to live) to do it.

The producers were then made to pay for Ms. Portman’s dry cleaning after she sat right down on their face and took a shit.

Jim Jones was clearly a lunatic. Why did so many people follow him to Guyana and drink poison?

“Hmm, let’s see. I was just kicked off the biggest TV show in the world for being an unrepentant idiot. My career is currently buried under the shitter, and no right-minded agency in the world is going to want to touch me with a ten foot pole for probably the rest of my life. Who should I call first?

Come on, Chris! Get us off the hook for doing absolutely nothing after you were attacked in front of millions of people because we didn’t want to lose viewers.

But their elaborately constructed set of hollow and largely performative morals! How else are they supposed to get attention (and clicks!) for being more forthright than you?

From Depp to Manson isn’t a very long trip.

Yes, an audience who knows what a fucking joke is and doesn’t immediately start clutching their pearls the second they hear something that doesn’t perfectly mesh with their elaborately constructed set of hollow and largely performative morals. I’m sure he’s just fine with them.

I wonder how many fainting couch maintenance technicians there are in LA.

I really don’t give it much thought, mainly because I am not 12.

No, dickhead, you go right ahead and do that.

There’s a pool and a pond. Pond would be good for you, though.

Had he written them, that would’ve been a good song to ask about.

I would not want to see Liv Tyler back in the MCU. She always looks like she’s about to start crying.

You should add something how fucking stupid this sentence sounds -

How about you watch the goddamn show to avoid spoilers?

It usually is, but no one wants to tell them because children are fucking mean.

To be fair, I did watch Isle of Dogs in a huge reclining theater seat that was heated, but yeah, it didn’t draw me in at all. Again, I found it beautiful, but boring. You’d think Wes and stop-motion animation would go together perfectly, but that clearly wasn’t the case here.

Licorice Pizza is like the LA hipster douchebag equivalent of one of those Adam Sandler movies where he rounds up all his famous actor friends like David Spade and Kevin James to go on vacation with him and then makes a movie studio pay for it. It’s much more well made and enjoyable than any of those shit bombs, of…

Give me incendiary axemanship, angular basslines and competent drumwork any day. I swear, some music critics must’ve suffered a head injury at some point in their lives.