Maybe Tim Allen can hire Roseanne to play that person over the fence.

Scientists figured out that if you laid all the cleavage displayed in Charmed end to end, you could circle the moon three times with tits.  

He’s a great dude, but the fake Guy Fieri menu is also the funniest thing I’ve ever read.

Thomas Markle is the wooooooorsssst. How long before he stops getting paid for his interviews and ceases to exist in gossip? I have dumpster fire parents too but at least I’m not famous. 

SHE’S NOT EVEN A TEEN. She’s almost thirty years old. How does she even fit in on that show anymore? All the other girls are worrying about getting kick out or dropping out of school, and she’s talking about boxed wine and 401k contributions?

Well, if crazy, drug addled, racist, shitbag was the look she was going for, she NAILED IT.

‘None of my actor friends are making money in their restaurants, so it’s impossible making money in the restaurant industry’. s/

Yes, Costco membership isn’t cheap.

Henry is soo pretty, but soooo dumb as a rock.

I love cobblers, or their cousins Dump Cakes, but I am having trouble picturing how you serve it with sliced of cream cheese? Do you just spread it on the top like it were a bagel, or do you cut it into chunks like you were dotting something with butter pre-baking? And how could you substitute soft/whipped cream…

This. If someone else is making the pie, I’ll eat it-- maybe even prefer it! If I’m making something, it’s gonna be cobbler or quickbread.

That looks pretty pho king tasty.

Ever have scrambled eggs... on garlic bread?

Who the hell cast that? Mr. Gill was a big rough looking masculine person that insisted on be referred to as male, and they what? Cast a 110lb super effeminate looking woman to play him? He demanded to be called Mister. He obviously valued his masculinity. What are they gonna do? Slap a mustache on her? Jesus. Take a…

“I put my fingers in my ears when grown-ups are talking, so that means nobody countered my mouth fart-noises.”

All these straight white men with their hard-ons for disruption can go eat a bag of dicks. 

Neutrogena ultra sheet is great, I bought it on some Amazon subscribe and save deal and it’s unbelievably non greasy/non sticky. And Aveeno with spf is a great everyday moisturizer with added protection to use especially if you live in the southwest or someplace with constant daily sun exposure.  Highly recommend…

Neutrogena ultra sheet is great, I bought it on some Amazon subscribe and save deal and it’s unbelievably non…

I also love adirondack chairs, but they are no good for dates. You want to lean in and be close. Those chairs are only good for leaning out by yourself. ETA: Especially dates where you called the paparazzi to take photos.